


kiss me like you wanna be loved

by kkahii (alexithymia)



Category: CLC (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 10:02:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14767481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexithymia/pseuds/kkahii
Summary: 2Seung getting drunk and falling in love in between. (Or 2Seung falling in love and getting drunk in between.)





	kiss me like you wanna be loved

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: characters are real people but everything else is fiction. i don't own real people.
> 
> kiss me like you wanna be loved (this feels like falling in love) aka a dress x black dress fic no one asked for (like, literally no one bc they’re not even the main ship in the fandom lmao). Inspired by drunk “yeoja chingu” seungyeon and strict manly man “namja chingu” seunghee.

**i. our secret moments in a crowded room (maybe it’s okay to go crazy)**

Their VLIVE had long ended and their managers had left by then, leaving them all alone—but not before giving them a few tequila bottles for them to enjoy. Anniversary present, apparently. _Bless them._

They opened one bottle and gathered around the table, shot glasses already prepared and waiting for them. Someone— _Elkie?—_ changed the song to _Andenayo_ for the fifth time that night and she was just about ready to throw the laptop away.

Before she got the chance to do so, a shot glass was shoved to her face and, looking to her side, she could see Seungyeon raising an eyebrow, urging her to drink. She sat back down and rolled her eyes, accepting the drink anyway. Seungyeon downed her own drink in an instant next to her.

“Yeah! Party!”

“Party! Party! Yeah!”

Sorn was a lightweight and Yujin was somewhat the same. The two of them were already slurring their words and speaking nonsense, dancing around the room, passing back and forth a separate tequila bottle from which they drank disgustingly straight from. The sight was amusing to Seunghee—and a bit horrifying, it made her worry just a bit—and it captured her attention fully.

Seungyeon downed another shot and spoke beside her, “They’ve been saying ‘Party!’ for the past five minutes now.” She made a non-committal grunt, simply letting the girl know she was listening to her, continuing to follow her members’ movements. After a while, Seungyeon tapped her shoulder, passing her a shot—her second one for the night.

“Shouldn’t we stop them?”

“Don’t worry. I already switched that,” she said, pointing at the bottle they were still running around with, “to water before they even got their hands on it. Quick thinking, right?”

“Aigoo, our monkey. When did you get so smart?”

“Well,” Seungyeon replied, flipping her hair over her shoulder, “When have I ever been not?”

The laughter Seunghee let out was so loud that the rest of the girls stopped what they were doing to look at her. Seungyeon just shrugged at them, grinning at Seunghee who was doubled over with tears in her eyes from laughing too hard, pouring themselves their next shot.

 

**ii. only bought this dress so you could take it off (a black dress for you)**

“Is this new?”

Seungyeon was on her lap— _wait, what? How did she—_ and had spilled the contents of her drink on her accidentally. Seungyeon repeated her question, pouting, mistaking the look of confusion on Seunghee’s face as having not heard her clearly.

They had apparently moved to the couch while the other girls were still dancing around to whatever music someone—mostly Yeeun, who had proclaimed earlier about being the official radio DJ of the group—would put on. She can’t seem to remember, though, how they had ended up in the position they were currently in. _That last shot must have hit extremely hard._

Suddenly, hands had started to fiddle with the buttons of her dress shirt, slowly trying to undress her. Seunghee snapped to attention, doing her best to focus while trying to stop the girl from what she’s doing. “Yes, this _was_ new, unfortunately.”

“Oops, sorry, _unnie,_ ” Seungyeon apologized, her _aegyo_ coming out with that puffed out cheeks and pouting lips—in that way Seunghee was secretly weak to. _Damn, damn, damn._

“It’s fine,” she replied, gently swatting away Seungyeon’s wandering hands. She tried to rebutton the top she was wearing, her own pout appearing when she realized a button had gotten ripped off. “Look at what you did.”

“But you’re wet.”

Seunghee stared at Seungyeon, her eyes wide, unblinking, and sputtered, “Uhm. What?”

“This shirt,” Seungyeon traced the outline of a dark, wet mark on Seunghee’s shirt, her fingers light as a feather, seemingly unconsciously stroking it again and again, grazing the bare skin of her neck from time to time. Seunghee was only half sure Seungyeon was doing it on purpose, especially with the girl’s never-ending pout and apparent drunken state, she couldn’t really fully tell. “Look, it’s wet.”

“I see,” she squeaked, grabbing Seungyeon’s hands—again, trying to hold it in place. “Thank you for pointing it out to me.” She stood up and, in a surprising display of strength—surprising mostly to her, that was—managed to carry Seungyeon with her to the nearby bathroom—the actual one, the one with a functional plumbing. They wobbled step by step across the room and she swore she heard a _so hot_ murmured against her ear, wondering if the alcohol was affecting Seungyeon’s body temperature.

Seunghee would have left her with the other members, had it not been for the fact that the girl stuck to her like a koala, her arms tight around her neck and her legs wrapped around her torso. Thankfully, Seungyeon cooperated with her when she told her she needed to let go of her.

Seunghee placed her on top of a closed toilet seat, instructing her to wait patiently while she took some wet paper towels, dabbing purposefully on the stain on her shirt that was slowly starting to set. She continued to work calmly, trying to salvage her outfit, until she heard a soft snivel beside her.

“ _Unnie_ ,” Seungyeon spoke, her head cast down, sniffling a little, “I’m _so_ sorry, _unnie._ ”

“ _Aigoo,_ _my baby_.” Seunghee immediately threw her used paper towels away and got new ones, kneeling in front of Seungyeon, not caring one bit about the cold tiles that hit her knees. She carefully wiped Seungyeon’s tear-stained cheeks, whispering kindly, “No, no, no, Seungyeonie. Don’t cry.”

Seungyeon was a highly emotional drunk, Seunghee knew that, and she had had many experiences dealing with her when she got like she did at that moment. _Many, many experiences._

(One time, not too long ago, Seunghee found her crying over a banana peel that she held in her hands. Apparently, she didn’t know where the flesh inside went. Seunghee didn’t have the heart to tell her that Seungyeon herself had eaten it a few seconds before she started crying. She simply gave her another banana.)

“Seungyeonie, look at me.” Seunghee moved to cup Seungyeon’s cheeks, her thumbs caressing the crease that had formed on her forehead when their eyes met. “Now look at my shirt.” Seungyeon did as what she was told, tilting her head and snuggling into Seunghee’s warm hands. “It’s all better now, see? It’s okay, we’re okay.” Seungyeon nodded in reply, slowly, still looking a little guilty despite the assurance. _At least the tears have stopped,_ she thought. Seunghee retracted her hands and rose to her feet, dusting off her knees, patting Seungyeon’s head when she noticed a frown return to her face. “Come on, let’s go back.”

She turned around and bent her knees slightly, prompting Seungyeon to place her arms over Seunghee’s shoulders. Seunghee reached back—gripping Seungyeon’s thighs, moving her flush against her back, centering her weight in the process—and stood up once more. She carried her in a piggyback—wobbling yet again, not minding how she almost fell flat on her face when she heard Seungyeon loudly snorting, apparently enjoying her struggle—all the while laughing silently at herself for thinking she was basically carrying the weight of her world on her shoulders.

(Seungyeon may have been CLC’s leader but, to Seunghee, she was the world.)

_This was going to be a long night._

 

**iii. you kiss my face and we’re both drunk (i’m feeling good today, i like this feeling)**

After the emotional rollercoaster ride earlier, she and Seungyeon went back to the main room with the others. They took another shot—their last one for the night on Seungyeon’s insistence, stating the bottle’s empty after it anyway and, again, Seunghee was _weak_ to that _annoying aegyo_ —and continued to cuddle on the sofa.

She wasn’t drunk, not yet anyway—or she wasn’t as drunk as Seungyeon was at that moment, but definitely on her way—and she knew what would happen next. _Of course,_ she did.

Seungyeon stood up abruptly, confusing Seunghee who had been comfortably leaning against her with a slight buzz still faintly clouding her senses. Seungyeon’s hands found hers, pulling her up, bringing them close—their faces mere inches apart. Seunghee didn’t talk—terrified she’d open her mouth and words she never meant to say would come out, terrified to break the spell the girl in front of her had put her under, and _terrified terrified terrified_ —and raised an eyebrow at Seungyeon, masking the fact that she could barely breathe. She exhaled deeply and shrugged when all she got was a smile, and she let Seungyeon guide her to the bathtub they all had huddled over earlier during their livestream.

In her periphery, she could see Eunbin telling jokes to Elkie and Yeeun, both girls nodding their heads along and probably falling asleep slowly as their _maknae_ continued to tell them pun after pun. Sorn and Yujin were on the other side; both had passed out a while ago, half their bodies sprawled on the dining table.

Distracted, she didn’t notice right away how she and Seungyeon were swaying from side to side; slow dancing to a song that probably only existed in Seungyeon’s head. As Eunbin’s voice from the far side of the room slowly faded away, Seungyeon dropped her head to Seunghee’s shoulders and wrapped her arms around her. She felt more than heard Seungyeon humming a lazy tune, the thrumming on her chest amplified by the alcohol that still remained in her system.

It was only the two of them now—their other members finally far from their minds. They carried on with their swaying, but one misstep in their inebriated state was all it took to make them lose their balance. They fell into the tub with Seungyeon’s body on top of hers, her arms supporting her weight, her hair curtaining Seunghee’s face, their breaths mingling against the other’s skin.

Seungyeon managed to recover first—somewhat.

Gone was the emotional drunk who cried in the bathroom for ruining her shirt, replaced by another side of Seungyeon—a seductress, apparently most likely—and Seunghee had been expecting it too.

“I always want to kiss you.” Seungyeon whispered, her gaze locked on Seunghee’s lips. “It’s become a problem, I think.”

It wasn’t the first time that Seunghee had heard this confession, only that she’d always hear it when she had had too much to drink already. Sometimes she would wonder if a sober Seungyeon felt the same way as a drunken one—because, drunk or not, she always wanted to kiss her, too. Because she didn’t want to be the only one who actually felt the need intensely. Because— _because because because_ —it’s become a problem for her, too.

And, once again, she didn’t say anything back. Seunghee let her continue to stare, continue to think about whatever it was that made her pause. Seungyeon moved a hand towards Seunghee’s face, thumb tracing the corners of her mouth. She leaned in delicately—slowly, as if giving Seunghee a chance to run away, as if she wasn’t in a daze like Seunghee believed—and she was met half way, lips meeting lips, with fingers interlocked at the back of her neck pulling her in.

One.

Two.

Three.

_Seconds? Minutes? It felt like forever._

When Seunghee finally managed to move back—just an inch, only an inch, because more than that would have meant fully detaching herself from Seungyeon and that wasn’t exactly what she wanted despite the situation—she hissed, not unkindly, _“_ Seungyeonie, you’re drunk.” It took a lot of restraint to keep herself from kissing her once more, her hands shook, resting her forehead against Seungyeon’s.

“No, I’m not. I’m not.” Seungyeon protested weakly, her words almost imperceptible but Seunghee heard her all the same—Seungyeon was as stubborn as ever, after all.

“You are and I am, and we won’t remember any of this when we wake up later.” Except she would—she always did—but Seungyeon wouldn’t, and she didn’t need to know that.

“Then it doesn’t matter.”

Seunghee wanted to yell at her and tell her she was wrong. She wanted to tell her things like _of course, it matters, you idiot_ and _you idiot!_ _Y_ _ou idiot!_ _Y_ _ou idiot!—_ but Seungyeon leaned in, cutting off her thoughts, leaving her brain in haywire. She froze, and—

Nothing happened—nothing except Seungyeon falling face first into the space next to her own.

“Seriously?!” Seunghee shook the girl, trying to see if she was only pretending to have fallen asleep. The snoring she heard—the adorable and _frustratingly cute_ snoring, another one of her weaknesses—proved otherwise. “Oy!”she said, her voice rising, slapping her on the side. “Chang Seungyeon!”

Seungyeon had fallen asleep, trapping Seunghee underneath her. _Ah, seriously, this girl._

She knew she should probably wake the girl up or, at least, leave her alone and go find a better place to sleep on on her own. She knew, but she also knew that she couldn’t move away despite the fact that her body would probably hate her later, almost every muscle she felt already beginning to ache. _She knew, she knew, she knew, but_ —Seungyeon nestled herself into Seunghee, their bodies fitting perfectly, their faces so close together that every breath Seungyeon takes tickles Seunghee’s cheeks— _and she knew._

“Unbelievable.”

She sighed—but still, she couldn’t move away.

Because all Seunghee could think of was _soft soft soft._

 

**iv. now i wake up by your side (look straight into my eyes, be honest, this is for you)**

The movement on top of her woke Seunghee up, her head pounding both from the alcohol and the position she had slept in. She felt the weight resting on her continue to move uneasily, a thigh accidentally hitting her between the legs.

“Seungyeonie?” She didn’t mean for it to come out as a moan, but Seungyeon just _had_ to hit her right _there._ The knee hit her again, making her jolt—their heads colliding against each other with a thud.

“Ow, my forehead.” Seungyeon had both of her hands on her head, trying to soothe the pain, transferring most of her weight to the girl underneath her in the process.

“Your forehead?” Seunghee croaked, her voice still a little raspy from sleep, trying to wrestle herself away from underneath Seungyeon. “My entire body! Seungyeonie, get off me please.”

“Can’t move. Body, too heavy.”

“Chang Seungyeon!” Seungyeon merely flailed a bit, purposely ignoring Seunghee. “Seriously! Stop wiggling, oh my god.”

“Sure.”

Seunghee continued trying to push her off her with no luck. She had to resort to tickling the girl into submission. Seungyeon ended up shaking in laughter and, if she didn’t stop soon, Seunghee was going to overheat—or worse, do something stupid like pull her closer, wanting to feel more of her warmth around her.

Eventually, Seungyeon moved her body off her— _finally, thank god—_ turning on her side and curling into Seunghee’s neck. Seunghee felt the girl inhale deeply—as if inhaling her scent, breathing her in—and couldn’t help the blush that dusted her cheeks, thankful that Seungyeon had closed her eyes and couldn’t see the redness that slowly spread across her neck.

Both of them fell into a comfortable lull—with Seungyeon using Seunghee’s right upper arm as a pillow as the latter played with the other’s hair. It was Seunghee who broke the silence first.

“How much did you drink?”

“I think I blacked out around our fourth shot. I can’t seem to remember much after that.”

“Stop drinking so much.”

“Yah, I only drink when there’s something to celebrate.”

“Sure, you do.” She rolled her eyes and Seungyeon stuck a tongue out in return. “Do you remember how we got here at least?” _Do you remember how you dragged me over here and kissed me and fell asleep on me while almost giving me a heart attack?_

“I just said I blacked out.” Seungyeon replied, pouting, adding and emphasizing with the hand gesture from their recent song, “Black.”

“Stop being annoying for a minute.”

“Okay. Okay. I’m okay, you okay?” Again, with hand gestures, _because of course._

“Ugh.”

Seunghee secretly didn’t mind. She actually liked seeing Seungyeon looking so unburdened, so unlike when she had to be the leader of their group who had to act completely put together in front of their fans and their management. She shook her head and smiled at Seungyeon who smiled back.

“Anyway,” Seungyeon said, her voice barely above a whisper, looking somewhat expectantly, “You? Remember anything?”

And maybe it was waking up next to her, the sight achingly familiar and sweet yet new and exciting at the same time. Or maybe it was the cool, small space they were in, their limbs tangled together, both of them unmoving in the bathtub they fell asleep in. Or maybe it was the look Seungyeon held in her eyes, expressive, almost searching, wanting for something Seunghee wasn’t privy to. Or maybe it was everything in between the beats of their hearts, the sound drumming against their rib cages, in sync with each other.

Or—

Whatever it was, Seunghee finally wanted to be honest. She looked straight into Seungyeon’s eyes, holding her gaze, almost getting lost in their depth.

“I do.” She admitted, taking a deep breath right after. She paused—noting Seungyeon’s eyes widening, her expression dimming, putting up invisible walls between them—and Seunghee hoped the line she was about to cross would be worth it. “You’re an emotional wreck when drunk, you know that?”

She placed a lone finger on Seungyeon’s lips, hushing her gently, interrupting whatever reply she had on the tip of her tongue.

“And I—I remember what happened after your breakdown in the bathroom too.”

Seunghee smiled, bringing her hand down to lightly trace patterns on Seungyeon’s hip—her dress shirt had long untucked in her sleep, exposing a bit of her skin, and Seunghee swore she didn’t expect to find skin where she touched but, _whatever_.

“And how you said you just had to take that last shot or else you’d die.”

She poked— _booped_ —Seungyeon’s nose, rolling her eyes but held a smile on her lips.

“And how you took my hand and lead me here.”

She held Seungyeon’s hand, interlocking their fingers together.

“And how we swayed with no music.”

She wrapped her other arm around Seungyeon, bringing their bodies closer—as if dancing once more to a song only they could hear.

“And I remember how you kissed me—since the first time, and that was years ago.”

She squeezed Seungyeon’s hand—a silent plea, as if to say _please don't run away from me,_ _not right now,_ _not again—_ and Seunghee drew every shred of courage she had to continue.

“And how I kissed you back each time.”

There was a pregnant pause. Each second passed by too long for Seunghee’s taste, and she had started to worry, already thinking up of ways to laugh it off—to pretend she didn’t want to kiss her again and again, to go back to last night before she even took that first shot, and to stop herself from ever opening her mouth again.

“Oh.”

Seungyeon blinked and looked away, biting her lips. _Oh?_ Seunghee moved her hand to her chin, quietly asking for Seungyeon to look at her. She leaned in, wavering, giving her a chance to refuse and shift her head back to the side—giving her a chance to break her heart in the worst possible way.

Seunghee felt a bit of hope come back when Seungyeon only stared evenly, letting her face move closer and closer to her own. She pressed their lips together—kissing her slow and gentle and reassuring. Soft and pure, like what she deserved—sober, like how it should have been the first time. When Seungyeon started to respond, every inch of Seunghee’s body felt alive. It felt like—

_Finally. Finally. Finally._

They broke apart and Seungyeon smiled, looking up at her. The kind of smile Seunghee knew she always did when something good had happened, only it was softer and more shy—and it was _so_ Seungyeon and _oh_ how it reminded her of the first time she fell—and all Seunghee wanted to do was bask in its warmth.

“Thank god,” Seungyeon said, looking more relaxed than earlier, the invisible walls she had put up lay crumbled beneath her feet, “but what took you so long? I’ve been sending you signals since forever—”

The laughter that escaped Seunghee’s lips was inevitable— _inescapable_ like them, she thought—and she leaned in once more, finally feeling afloat after what seemed like a lifetime of drowning.

_But, first—_

“Ouch!” Seungyeon caressed the area that Seunghee pinched, “ _Unnie?!_ ”

“That’s for always getting drunk!” Seungyeon simply pouted in return, earning her a gentle flick on the forehead. “You could’ve just said something, monkey—”

“Kiss her.”

They both turned to the sound, surprise and confusion all over their faces, and saw Eunbin resting her head on the edge of the tub, looking down at them. Their eyes widened, realizing what their youngest member had just said.

“Eunbinnie!”

“Kiss her,” Eunbin repeated, in that same honeyed tone they would usually find cute. _Usually._ Beside her, Elkie—w _hen did she get there!?_ —burst out laughing, clapping her hands. Yeeun, who had been suspiciously carrying with her what looked like a bucket of water, arrived and sat next to them, joining in on the laughter.

Before they could tell everyone to _leave_ _them the hell alone!_ —nicely—another voice cut through the hysterics. “Everybody stay where you are!” Sorn hollered from the other side of the room, getting up and running to her things on the counter—even tripping on Yujin, who had slid on the floor in her sleep, on the way. “I need to record this! Let me just find my camera!”

“Sorn!”

That was how their day started: with their _maknae line_ giggling at them and Sorn, who somehow didn’t get hangovers for some ungodly reason, _vlogging_ their struggle— _for posterity,_ she said—as they tried to untangle themselves from each other to face the rest of their members.

And—

To face the rest of their lives together.

(Mostly sober, from then on, hopefully.)

**Author's Note:**

> title: ed sheeran – kiss me  
> parts i-iv: taylor swift – dress (clc – black dress)
> 
> i’ve been trying to finish this namyu college au i started a while back but then this happened instead :/ I swear imma finish that one next.


End file.
